There are tons of beautiful people in the world and many who are physically more attractive than your partner. They do their partner hopping, exchanging and dating in search of the greenest lawn, but they’ll never find it because a beautiful relationship, like a beautiful garden, must be tended to and cared for. You can have ‘happily forever after’ with the partner you choose, but you must commit yourself to it.
Keep giving generously and you partner will return your love when the time is.
To sustain love, two people have to choose each other. If either partner defaults or is unsure, the whole relationship falls apart. It doesn’t matter how much you love the other person, if they do not return your love.
The more you love a person; the more you care about him or her, the greater the feeling of being stabbed in the heart when they betray or cheat your love. The normal reaction to being dumped is to go ballistic and tell your lover what a piece of trash they are, your heart feels like a knife has sliced through it. This heart-pain is there because buried under your anger, there is love.
- 1. Treating a Relationship as a Transaction
You can not be calculative when it comes to love. Your partner may not feel it’s their turn. Keep giving generously and you partner will return your love when the time is.
If you want to find an ideal partner, you first have to BE an ideal partner. Give your partner first-class treatment – be infinitely patient, loving, and giving. Give with all your heart and trust that your partner appreciates the love you give.
- Case Study – “Mr Y” *.
Last week we talked to Mr Y about his hope of winning over a girl who already has a boyfriend. This week, let’s flip it and talk about what it’s like to be the person who’s about to lose their partner.
- An Uncommitted Partner *.
Sometimes you might find that although you are ready to commit, your partner doesn’t want to settle. Many people believe that they can hold on to their partner and make them stay. If your partner wants to go, they will.
They do their partner hopping, exchanging and dating in search of the greenest lawn, but they’ll never find it because a beautiful relationship, like a beautiful garden, must be tended to and cared for. When our partner betrays our love, there are two immediate feelings – the part that feels cheated, and the part that still cares. If you want to find an ideal partner, you first have to BE an ideal partner. Give with all your heart and trust that your partner appreciates the love you give.
If it were so easy to make a relationship last, our divorce rates would be lower. Even if people do not fall into the three traps listed above, there are other problems such as the possibility of meeting someone more attractive (high chance).
- 3. Idealistic Demands
They have a vision in their minds of how they want their ideal partner to be – and they will not compromise. And you will start editing your criteria of what you want in a partner, circling those qualities which are important, and mentally scratching out those which are not. If a person has a list of rigid, uncompromising qualities that they follow to the dot, they might just kick out the partner that was right for them.
” A great love relationship is not something you find, but something you build and commit yourself to.”
- 2. Not Being Patient or Sensitive Enough
You can end a good relationship with words that hurt, no meeting needed. Your partner deserves your best behavior. And the more love you invest in them, the more they will love you for it.
The reader suggests that Mr Y should take an altruistic approach, where he is happy the girl he loves is well-looked and happy after. I didn’t want to agree (an urge to protect my client) … but after serious contemplation, I yielded because the reader has a point. Could a man do that if he loves a woman?
” Dagger in the Heart”.
Mr Y said he felt a sharp stabbing pain in his heart, when he found out that the woman he loved had recently found a boyfriend. Everyone who has been on the verge of losing a romantic partner has felt this sharp stabbing pain.
When our partner betrays our love, there are two immediate feelings – the part that feels cheated, and the part that still cares. On one hand we hate them for hurting us, and we want to hurt them back. What you need to realize is the deep stabbing pain you feel in your heart is not the pain of rejection, but the pain of trying to hate someone you love.
Many people are able to get into relationships. And many are able to attract partners who are suitable for them, physically and mentally. For many people, their relationships do not last much more than 3 months!